Language Policing is Hurting Your DEI Efforts - Aim Instead for Conscious Communication

"Language matters," we've all heard that. 

In DEI, the language we use plays a large role in our relationships with colleagues, our productivity, and how safe we feel at work. It's important to know how the things we say affect the people we interact with. 

But how do we know when we've crossed the line from inclusive communication to language policing? In this article, we look at how using Conscious Communication as a growth-centered approach instead, helps enhance your DEI efforts. 

Language Policing and DEI

Language is an important focus in DEI. After all, the way we communicate helps shape both our work environment and culture. Being conscious about the impact our words have on others is how we work towards inclusion. But when we focus all our efforts on policing exactly what’s right and wrong to say, we detract from meaningful communication. 

“Language is meant to facilitate conversation, not shut it down. But when we view language as a reflection of a person’s innate qualities, or blame a person for not possessing the most up-to-date lingo, we make further conversation and connection with them impossible. We also block ourselves from getting to learn about their outlook, because we’ve rejected their ideas for not being presented ‘correctly.’ ”

- Dr. Devon Price, Social Psychologist 

In a system that immediately shuts down language (with certain exceptions like slurs and hate speech) that is not intended to cause harm, it’s easier to be met with resistance and unproductive arguments. Honing in on the smaller details of what is said, rather than what is meant, takes away from the opportunity to refine our use of language as a communication tool. That’s where conscious communication and its broader approach to language differs.  

Conscious Communication 

Conscious communication involves being intentional with how we express ourselves. It strays away from hostile debate and pressured silence and compliance, and offers a system of empathy and constructive dialogue instead. All teammates are involved in creating an environment for conscious communication, where civil conversations can be held and the status quo can still be challenged. 

Here are some principles that can help you create a culture of conscious communication in your workplace:

Make conversations inclusive and accessible

Meetings (both scheduled and impromptu) are often where your team members engage the most with each other. You can make it easy for them to connect with one another if these are made accessible for all. 

Make sure the virtual meeting platforms you use have captions and record meetings or share notes/updates if they are relevant to team members that are away. Make sure important images and figures shown in virtual presentations and screen-shares are described out loud, as screen-readers don’t communicate this visual information. Encourage your team to communicate their other assistive technology needs to help them maximize their potential. 

Practice observing and listening

A key part of conscious communication is giving importance to the emotions, behaviours and experiences of yourself and others. This also means creating space for change and active conversation. 

The best way to practice empathy and intentionality is by listening and learning. Encourage your team to listen and learn from each other and observe each other’s feelings and reactions in conversation. Some areas to keep an eye out for are body language, volume and tone of voice. Here are some examples of scenarios where observation and listening can come in handy:

Listening prevents unintentional reactivity, especially in tense situations. You can be more intentional with your words if you give yourself the opportunity to gather external information and your own thoughts. Be careful not to over-analyze and make assumptions about someone’s feelings however. 

Practice clarity and brevity

Try to keep communication simple, concise and engaging. This is especially important when resolving a tense or upsetting situation.

Here are some questions to ask yourself while communicating:

• What are my intentions when I say this? Is there something I am trying to achieve?

• Is there any way I can make what I’m saying easier for others to understand and benefit from?

• Am I adopting an “us vs. them” standpoint, instead of considering the team as a whole?

• Am I respecting this person’s time when I reach out to them?

• Are there any current emotions (e.g. frustration) that could influence how I communicate with others at this time? 

Investing in cross-cultural communication or unconscious bias training (that actually works) can also help with preventing miscommunication and practicing clarity. 

Make “no wrong questions” a habit

You can’t develop a culture that is oriented towards collective progress without giving people the opportunity to ask respectful questions. Not everyone is going to be on the same page all the time - and that’s okay! 

Create room for discussion around the language you use at work, and the intention behind it. Crescendo users often share their Learning Moments in DEI Slack channels to share their new learnings and reflections with teammates. 

The Dialogue Project suggests following these principles to engage in civil discourse at work. Psychological safety also plays a role in whether your employees feel comfortable enough to ask questions and take accountability for mistakes. Read more about how it impacts conversations here.

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These principles apply to conversations outside of the workplace too. Being more intentional with the way you communicate with others creates stronger connections through empathy and mutual understanding. Try implementing these with a mindset of collaborative growth and progress, instead of adopting a system of constant language policing in your DEI efforts.